In 12 hours I will be leaving my homestay, getting in a cab, and driving to the Sevilla airport to board my 7am flight to Madrid where I will then transfer flights to go back to the United States. I can't even express how unreal this feeling is. It is a feeling of complete and utter saddness. It almost feels like something is dying. I guess something is. The incredible lives we led in this amazing city are actually ending. It doesn't even feel real. It literally feels like graduating high school...except much much worse. Even if I come back to Sevilla one day (which I definitely plan on doing), it will never be the same as it was these past 4 months. When people told me that this would be the be the best experience of my life, they weren't lying.
Today, my last day in Sevilla, has been a very strange day. It has been a mix of stress, sorrow, and joy. It has been stressful because my friends and I have all realized that there is so much still to do, but not nearly enough time to do it. One of the biggest stressers has been souvenier shopping. We've all been running in and out of tourist shops all day! Today has been full of sorrow because we're all so depressed to leave. Brittany and I had our first cry at lunch today because even though our lunch sucked, we knew it was our last one. It was awkward because our host dad, Antonio, was sitting on the couch watching tv and Brittany and I just started bawling. And today has also been filled with joy because although this is the end, we're all spending it together and just enjoying our last memories in Sevilla.
Before I left for Sevilla back in January, I was honestly a little nervous. I've never been away from home for an extended period of time like this before, let alone out of the country. My family was apparently making bets on how long it would be before I called home crying saying that I wanted to go home. But that never happened. Instead, I'm crying now because I have to leave to go home! Never did I imagine I would become so instantly comfortable with a foreign city. Sevilla instantly felt like home to me. Before I arrived in here, I went to London, Paris, and Barcelona with my parents and none of those places had that impact that Sevilla had on me. Even throughout the semester, all of the different cities I went to, none of them felt like Sevilla. I'm very happy to say I made the right choice in coming here. I couldn't imagine spending this semester anywhere else. This city is just beautiful. It's magestic, charming, cultural, and just so full of life and happiness.
A guy in my class said it best: "A bad day in Sevilla is still a good day anywhere else. This semester has been like having the best day of your life on repeat for 4 months." And it's so true. Even when I thought some days sucked (mostly just due to school work), I would just look at my surroundings and everything would be better. It didn't matter that some days I had 2 tests to study for and a paper to write, because whenever I walked by the Cathedral (3rd largest in the Christian world!), crossed the bridge over the Guadalquivir River into Los Remedios, strolled under the massive palm trees and orange trees that line the streets, or met up with the incredible friends that I've made here, my day would instantly be better, because I knew I was in Sevilla. Nothing will be able to compare strolling through Maria Luisa park, admiring the amazing architecture of Plaza de Espana, botelloning by Torre de Oro, or having your favorite night club just 5 minutes from your house (haha yes, that is still one of my favorite parts about living here). There is nothing more I'm going to miss than arriving back in Sevilla from a weekend trip away in a different city and being able to say "I'm home."
Besides being surprised at how attached I got to Sevilla, another thing I wasn't expecting before coming here was the incredible friendships that would come out of it. From the very first day we met, we felt like we had known each other for ever. Now multiply that by how many days we've been here. Leaving them will be one of the most difficult parts about leaving here, as well as one of the most difficult parts about coming back to Sevilla in the future because I won't have them there with me. We've spent all semester just 5 minutes walking distance away from each other, and starting tomorrow, we'll be miles apart spread out all over the country. I'm going to miss calling them up and saying "meet me at bingo in 5 minutes" when we always knew that 5 really meant 25. They have taught me so much and I can't picture not seeing them everyday from now on. I also got extremely lucky with my roommate, Brittany. This semester would not have been the same without her. We clicked from the very beginning and we helped each other get through our many tough times with our host family haha. I'm truly going to miss seeing her everyday.
Don't get me wrong, I am excited to go home. I'm looking forward to seeing my friends and family and sleeping in my own bed (with clean sheets!). But it's very bittersweet. I'm excited to go home, but I'm very sad to leave Sevilla, knowing that I won't be back for a long time. But I am looking forward to American food, doing my own laundry, not getting eaten alive by mosquitos at night, and taking hot showers when I want and for however long I want. This semester has really made me appreciate what I have at home, but has opened my eyes to what else is out there.
I could go on and on about how much I'll miss this semester, but I'll try and cut this short. All I can say is that I'm so happy with my decision to study abroad. I'm not kidding when I say it was life-changing. How often do you have the opportunity to live in a different country? To meet people of that culture and to truly become a part of it. It doesn't even compare to your typical type of travelling and being a tourist. This city has become my second home. A piece of my heart will always be with Sevilla. Studying abroad makes you learn so much about other people, different cultures, and more importantly, about yourself. I am leaving Sevilla a better and much more independent person. This experience has changed my life for the better and although I am very sad to be leaving it after today, I am happy to say that I don't regret anything about it. If I could, I would do this semester all over again in a heartbeat. 4 months is not nearly long enough. I definitely encourage everybody to step out of their comfort zone and experience something like this because it is truly amazing.
I hate goodbyes. So to Sevilla all of my friends: This is not goodbye. It's hasta luego! I'll see you all soon :)
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